Carry on up the Danube!

"What do you want to do for your 90th birthday, mum?" was the question I asked the Intrepid Granny back in the summer. The answer I was not expecting was "I don't want to be in the UK - the rest is up to you." 

So that was the brief and given that the Intrepid Granny's birthday falls two weeks before Christmas with all the nailed-down, inked-in Christmas events already in place, there was only a relatively small window in which to fit a proper jolly. We enlisted two companions: my friend Mrs Broccoli and her mum, the Mighty Nin, not least because the Intrepid Granny and the Mighty Nin enjoy playing bridge and Mrs Broccoli and I can get up to all sorts of mischief together. And our holiday choice? A river cruise up the Danube from Vienna to Nuremberg. 

So we set off at stupid o'clock in the morning on the eve of the Intrepid Granny's birthday to fly from Leeds Bradford to Amsterdam. Before we have even left the ground the captain informs us that the flight will be delayed due to high winds at Amsterdam so an hour and forty five minutes to transfer suddenly turns into a thirty five minute dash across the full length of Schiphol Airport which we manage - just - but unfortunately our luggage doesn't. 

So by the time we and half a dozen other people have reported our luggage missing at Vienna Airport, our chauffeur has given us up for lost and we have to get a taxi to the ship. Ok, we know the ship is on the Danube but without the berth number we could have been up and down the quay for hours. Luckily we find the ship, the AmaSonata and are quickly reimbursed for our taxi and making the most of our gin and tonics hoping our luggage will arrive ...soon. 

By supper time, we are still in the clothes we'd put on at 2.00am and have been provided with an emergency pack each. This consists of a large white t-shirt, a pair of tights and a gigantic pair of white knickers (no exaggeration, they would have fitted Giant Haystacks!).  Although we are tempted to don the lot (probably over our clothes) immediately, we are eating at the haute cuisine Chef's Table Restaurant on our first night so hmmm ...perhaps not appropriate. Part way through dinner, our cruise manager comes with the glad tidings that our luggage has arrived - hurray! 

Our fellow passengers are largely American with a few Puerto Ricans, Filipinos and Chinese. Surprisingly it turns out we are the only Brits. No worries, we can punch above our weight after all. 

After the delicious haute cuisine at the Chef's Table Restaurant on our first night we are up with the lark and happy to be wearing our own clothes on the 90th birthday morning. Mrs Broccoli and I start the day with a stretching/Pilates class with the very bendy Tiago. A gang of 12 start the class on the first morning and as I start to write (day 6) we're down to seven (by the end of the cruise it's just Mrs Brocolli and me!) but our charming instructor keeps us on our toes - literally! - and I suspect I may be a fraction bendier by the end of the holiday. In the meantime, the resulting aches are moving round my body on a daily basis from neck and shoulders to knees but all in a good cause. And I can definitely eat more with a clear conscience! 

So if you're going to have a 90th birthday, a ship moored on the Danube in Vienna seems like a pretty good place to start. "I don't want a fuss..." Too late... I've been a busy elf and have got surprises and stuff planned all day, starting with cards and presents at the breakfast table and most of the waiting staff wishing and kissing my mother happy birthday. Then it's out into a chilly but beautiful Vienna for our guided tour, followed cake and hot chocolate. Now I can't resist a carriage ride in a stunning city, so off we go clopping around the cobbled streets in style. 

Continuing the equine theme, we have organised a tour of the Spanish Riding School and the Lipizzaner stallions are so beautiful though it is forbidden to either photograph or touch them. Then it's back to the ship to discover champagne and flowers from Spear Travels - thank you Peter and Libby - for mum's birthday. Down in the dining room there's a good deal more kissing and congratulations from fellow guests followed by cake and singing. Now the average nonagenarian might have thrown in the towel after dinner but not the Intrepid Granny. Upstairs in the lounge there's music and dancing and more partying. So that's a birthday well and truly done. Massive thanks to Nick and the team on the AmaSonata for making it one to remember. 

We sail through the night with quite a few stops and starts which become familiar on our night time sailings because there are 26 locks on this trip and it turns out to be quite difficult to sleep through a lock! Up bright and early for more bending and stretching with Tiago (more muscles are making their presence felt) and today's first destination is Durnstein. 

Because we walked miles yesterday, we take the easy train ride up to the village for a wander around the shops and cobbled streets to the winery. Our wine tasting is led by the polished and knowledgeable Steve who hailed from Burton on Trent - of course!  

In the afternoon we sail to Melk where the skyline is dominated by the spectacular baroque yellow abbey which looks down on the town and the Danube below. We berth here, explore the abbey and spend the evening listening to a stunning string trio. 

One of the cities I particularly want to visit is Salzburg. Not on the Danube but only a coach ride away and memories of visiting there when I was fifteen or sixteen are still vivid. On the way to Salzburg we stop at a tiny village where the wedding in The Sound of Music was filmed. Walking through the crisp snow to the church, it feels absolutely and completely Austrian and utterly magical. 

Back on the bus and it's a short hop to Salzburg and the snow is still falling. Our guide takes us from the bus and across the bridge of locks to the spectacular and charming old town. Tiny narrow streets beautifully decorated await us and as we walk we can hum songs to ourselves  from Mozart or The Sound Of Music depending on cultural preferences. I'm a bit low brow actually. 

The Mighty Nin has a finely tuned radar for finding fabulous lunch and coffee places and soup and gluhwein is generally the order of the day. Salzburg is a long day but what a beautiful place - not as elegant as Vienna but it will continue to hold a place in all our hearts. 

Back on the ship, we catch up with our new friends, Patrick and Marlis and Steve and Laura. They kindly take us under their wing and Patrick and Steve play their chivalrous roles looking after six ladies to perfection. We can only manage a glass of wine or two after dinner - it turns out that having a jolly good time is exhausting! 

We sail in the night to Passau which turns out to be a beautiful city where three  rivers meet and our guide is an entertaining student from one of the universities. Passau was badly damaged by floods in 2013 and up to that point relations between students and the resident population had been strained but the students put their shoulders to the wheel and helped the locals clean up the city and now relations are much improved. After the guided tour we find yet another fantastic coffee and cake shop which turned out to be a finalist in the Deutschland Coffee shop Awards which just proves what an excellent nose Nin has for these things. 

We sail in the afternoon and so we get our heads down to learning to play bridge - lesson 1. Various crew members look in to watch the tutorial and we discover our barman, Peter, is the ship's poker champion so we definitely won't be inviting him to play! 

We pause proceedings to enjoy an invitation to the wheelhouse where the captain, Marcel, rules the waves and his bluff sense of humour belies a steely will and his staff certainly jump to his orders. Luckily for us, he has been waiting none too patiently for the lock ahead to clear and whilst we are there, the lights change and he shoehorns the ship into the lock and we watch the gradually-released water raise the ship. Similar to parking a 4x4 in a very small car parking space only rather harder - don't try this at home! Then it's back to the other sort of bridge...

Our evening entertainment is Christmas carols from the crew which turns out to be a lot more entertaining than the Von Trapp family singers of a few nights before. The AmaSonata choir are surprisingly polished and sing in English which is impressive when you know that they are largely from Romania, Bulgaria, Slovenia and, in the case of our very bendy fitness instructor, Portugal. "I have to learn Red Rudolph Reindeer," he says. They obviously don't have that one in Portuguese! To give you some idea of the bendiness of Tiago, imagine the Chinese acrobats in Oceans 11! 

An additional attraction is the arrival of Santa Claus. There are only a couple of small children but once they've sat on his knee, the nonagenarian is at it again. Shameless use of age privileges, in my book! However she is then desperate- no exaggeration- to know who is playing Santa. Her methodology for discovering is to give every crew member a cuddle to find one who fits the mould! 

We wake up in Regensburg, arriving at about 5.00am and unexpectedly this turns out to be our last port of call... But I'm getting ahead of myself. 

Regensburg is beautiful, Roman, and incredibly cold. Our guide, Melanie, is funny and informative but spends too much time making us wait on icy street corners in sub-zero conditions while she tells us its fascinating history. The Intrepid Granny has wisely bailed on this morning's tour and she's waiting smugly and warmly on the ship when we get back. It's too cold to contemplate going out again but tonight 's entertainment more than makes up for it.

During the day we receive an invitation. Would we like to dine at the Captain's table? Firstly, what Captain's table? There hasn't been one all trip. Second, the Intrepid Granny and I can't accept invitations which don't include our companions but they have also received one - hurray! We enjoy the Captain's cocktail party with our American pals and applaud the tremendous staff of the ship who have looked after us so well. Then we four are asked to wait behind in the library for drinks - just us - with the Captain, Marcel and Nick, the cruise manager. Everyone else has gone down to dinner and when the restaurant maitre d' calls us down to the restaurant, everyone else is already in their seats. On the arm of the Captain walking through the restaurant packed with guests, I think the Intrepid Granny is going to burst with excitement. 

Yes, we are the only guests having the Captain's table that week and yes, it is the Intrepid Granny's fame and the small matter of having a ninetieth on board that has clinched the deal. Marcel and Nick are charming companions and we are made to feel very special. 

The main news of the night, however, is that the ship will sail no further upstream. Although we could easily get to Nuremberg on the Danube, because the river levels are dropping so rapidly, the ship would not make it back down and this cruise has two more weeks to run. Our terrific cruise manager explains the situation and puts alternative plans in place. Those who want to can travel by bus to Nuremberg the following day and have an all-day tour, whilst those of us who would like more time in beautiful Regensburg can stay on the boat. We opt for the latter. 

So our unplanned day starts with more bendy bits with Tiago and while the Intrepid Granny is having her hair done, Mrs Broccoli and I do a power walk with Tiago. Then, grannies gathered, we head out into the chilly air for an afternoon walk. Regensburg is charming and we can remember enough of the previous day's tour to give the Intrepid Granny an overview of the city's  charms. Oh, and there may have been gluhwein... and cake! 

It's our last evening with our new chums from the States and we have a lovely evening, dining together and then having one or two ... or more... drinks in the lounge. Oh and the grannies did a spontaneous pitch - or rather, galley - invasion as they were desperate to see behind the scenes in the kitchen. And then, the grannies are up on the dance floor again and they are having a ball! 

All too soon it's our final morning and we must say goodbye to our new friends and with our bags packed and ready to go by 8.15am we set off by coach to Nuremberg. We say farewell to Nick who has been a magnificent cruise manager and leave our bags at the Meridien before heading into the centre of Nuremberg and its famous Christmas markets. The city is busting with Christmas shoppers and a strong police presence as there has been a stabbing the night before. But when we can't find a cafe for lunch/gluhwein, the Intrepid Granny decides to approach a policeman. Of course, as luck would have it, the policeman also works for the tourist board and is more than happy to take us along the busy streets to a restaurant slightly off the beaten track. We would never have found it on our own. More gluhwein (because we are now connoisseurs) and the atmosphere is amazing with every table in this huge restaurant absolutely packed. 

We make our way back to the Meridien and our driver arrives to take us to Nuremberg Airport for our 8.25pm flight which will get us back into Leeds just before 10.00pm via Amsterdam. We are met by the AmaWaterways rep who stays for a brief chat and then we wait for our gate to open.... except Amsterdam is fog-bound and suddenly we are delayed by 24 hours. The KLM staff "I'm good but I'm not God" gets us on the same flight 24 hours later and we are booked into the airport Movenpick Hotel. So now we need a plan for an extra day...

Because we had opted for an extra day in Regensburg rather than come to Nuremberg on the coach, we take the opportunity to visit the Nuremberg Courthouse, scene of the War Trials in 1945 and 1946. The exhibition is absolutely fascinating and doing this as two generations - our mothers who lived through the Second World War and ourselves who have studied this period at school - makes for a extraordinary range of perspectives. We see history through different eyes. And the Mighty Nin's father was here during the Trials working as an investigator so we are even more moved by the history as it unfolds through pictures, newsreels and text. The disappointment of not being able to fly home on time is quickly erased.

Fabulous Turkish pastries in a little cafe nearby give us time to reflect on what we have seen and we decide to visit Nuremberg Imperial Castle before we make our way back to the airport. The steep cobbled streets make it hard walking for the grannies but the views from the top are stunning. 

Back at the airport with our bags, we discover that although we have a boarding pass each covering both flights - Nuremberg to Amsterdam, Amsterdam to Leeds Bradford - these are void and we now only have the flight to Amsterdam and we are on standby from there to Leeds. My cage is seriously rattled and it doesn't seem to matter who we talk to at Nuremberg, no one will guarantee our seats for our last leg. Throughout the flight to Amsterdam, I feel sick with anxiety that we won't get our mothers home. 

Thankfully, the KLM desk at Schiphol is super-efficient and we have seats to Leeds. Phew! 

A brilliant trip, full of fun and comedy. The AmaWaterways team on the AmaSonata gave us a truly extraordinary week and one which the four of us will never forget. Very highly recommended.